her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
