For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
