Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize