I am in a vortex of obligation.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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