Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
