yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
im holly from the hills drunk
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
