i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
