why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
