My Higher Power is John Stamos
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
