Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
