We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
