But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
