i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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