Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
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Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize