Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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