Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You're a waste of cheezeits
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
