my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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