i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
a search helicopter?!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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