Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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