Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
