My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
