I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
