It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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