Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
