just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
COCAINE IS GR8
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
