Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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