The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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