It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
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All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
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So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize