Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
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i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
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I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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