just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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