After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
