so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
