take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
