"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
soo... how was my night?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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