Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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