I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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