You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
