Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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