omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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