It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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