are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
