i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry my hands just texted you
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
