problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize