i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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