maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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