Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
