Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
