i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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