I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
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we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
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but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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