The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
