Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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