And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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