Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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