I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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