I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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