I think I died a long time ago.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
