On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
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I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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