Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
