First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
