put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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