So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
