im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
