you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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